June 20, 2018

The Art of Being in Sync

InSyncSynchronicity. When two things—or in our case, people—work in perfect rhythm with each other. When you are synced with your partner you are fully present with that person – mind, body, spirit.

✓  You can walk side by side—somehow your footsteps match up… even though he’s 5 inches taller.
✓  You can finish each other’s sentences… you are paying attention. And you know her…really well.
✓  You have each other’s backs—because trust comes when you are in sync with someone. Trust is the cornerstone of all good relationships.

In a romantic relationship, it is important to feel connected to someone in this way. When that connection is there, we feel seen, heard, valued, respected, and cherished.

You may feel this synchronicity without any effort. Sometimes the mind and heart connection is just there. But more often than not, achieving this beautiful bond is something we need to work on. Though it has to come from both, you cannot wait for the other person to start. Do the work, and if your partner takes your hand and joins you on the path, you will find you are in sync with one another before too long.

What can you do to be in sync? Here are some exercises you can try.

→  Clear your mind…no distractions. Find a time and place when you can be alone… together.
→  Stop other activities. Multi-tasking is great, but not when you are trying to sync with someone.
→  Observe the other person carefully. Really see….
→  Mimic breathing, body language and rhythm for a time. This brings you into sync.
→  Use your gaze. Making prolonged eye contact is a powerful tool.
→  Listen empathically. Don’t just use your ears, but your eyes and heart too. Focus on what he or she is saying and also how (tone, volume, speed). Try not to think about your response as you listen. Doing so will stop you from really hearing.
→  Be patient.
→  Allow silence. It gives the other person space and time to think, feel, and speak when ready.
→  Respond in their rhythm. When talking, try to match pitch, rhythm, and tone. Powerful.
→  Don’t be attached to outcomes. It’s hard, but let go of all your expectations and judgments so you can be present.

When you feel that you are in sync with someone, you will notice that every encounter, even disagreements, is easier, more fluid, and non-draining. If you are used to walking on egg shells or constantly trying to outmaneuver or outthink your partner, take a step back onto the path of least resistance – which will lead to a stronger relationship and closer bond. Learning to be in sync is a valuable life skill that can be used in all types of relationships, not just romantic. The shared experience of being in sync with someone is joyful and can become effortless once you learn how.


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