September 25, 2017

Question: I am in a very brand new relationship with someone whose politics are very different from mine. Is this a stumbling block?

  Betty,  I am in a very brand new relationship with someone whose politics are very different from mine. Almost all my friends and close family align with my political principles and the fact that Sam and I do not line up is hard for me. He is wonderful in all other ways. Thoughtful and […]

Loss of Self: Love Doesn’t Mean You Have to Disappear

My client, Alexandrea, has a story that speaks to a not uncommon relationship problem. Read it, and see if it rings any bells for you. Alexandrea knows she has a lot of love to give. She longs for a relationship that fulfills her and to which she can give her all. In her pursuit of […]

Take a Deep Breath: How to Detect and Cope with Lies

Lying is believing or knowing one thing while intending to communicate another.  As painful as it is to be lied to, a certain amount of empathy is important when dealing with liars who typically are acting out of fear or low self-esteem. Often, fear and low self-image are also responsible for the very actions about […]

The Value of Interdependent Relationships

Dependence.  Independence.  Co-dependence  Interdependence.  These are not buzz words – they are terms that clearly delineate ways of interacting with others. Dependence – A newborn baby is dependent.  All the power lies with its parents.  Dependence is a vulnerable, trusting state.  As adults, we can be, at times, dependent on others, but it is never […]

How a Painful Breakup Can Lead to Personal Growth

Don’t kid yourself.  Breaking up can be brutally difficult.  In many cases, it is akin to losing someone to death.  The loss is complete.  Ties severed.  Someone who once filled your life and heart is now gone. Don’t pretend “it’s okay” when it’s not.  Let yourself experience it, in whatever way is right for you. […]

Forgiveness—Divine Release

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.”  A quotation probably more famous than the man who first said it, English poet Alexander Pope.  You may well have not heard of him, but you have probably heard his words. Screwing up (to err, in other words) is human indeed.  We are all flawed human beings.  In […]

Thanks, but No Thanks: A Vital Life Skill

Some people find it easy to say no.  You know those people?  Maybe you are one of those people.  But if you are one of the millions of others – those who struggle mightily with that simple word – you may be both envious and awestruck by those who can just say no.  For so […]

Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard

We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need.  A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly.  If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast.  Feedback loop complete.  Easy, right? Well, yes, […]

Are You Dating a Selfish Person?

Feeling a little invisible in your relationship?  Wondering why your date’s version of give and take has a lot more take than give (which leaves you making up the difference)?  Maybe you need to assess how you show up in your relationship, and whether you are looking out for yourself enough.  On the other hand, […]

First Impressions

Have you ever read the first page of a book in a bookstore (if you still buy books that way, that is!) and decided not to buy it?  It might have been a really great book, but you didn’t want to take the chance and spend the time to read 50 pages.  It takes at […]