September 25, 2017

Step Out of Fear and Into Your Power

The eloquent wisdom of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s words, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself,” is so profound and far-reaching that they became watchwords for an entire nation, and have, in less than a century, become so familiar that some might mistake them for cliché. But in fact they are as true […]

Relationship with a Narcissist? Shut it Down (Here’s Why)

My client, Jacqueline, had a sad story to tell me when we first met. She had been in a relationship with—she was firm on this point—the love of her life, when suddenly she was tossed aside. Her devastation was complete and the trauma tapped into her primal abandonment wound. As we talked, over the next […]

Hostage or Free? Codependency Revisited

Codependency has gotten some press in recent years. Which is a very good thing because it drags into the light of day a dangerous and fairly common relationship pattern that can hold people hostage for years. If ignored, codependency can do grave damage. I worry that people sometimes hear “codependent” and brush it off— yeah, […]

So, Why Are You Still Single?

A loaded question with a number of equally loaded answers. First of all, are you single and loving it, or single and searching? To help navigate the endless nosy versions of the question, “So, why are you still single?” you need to decide into which camp you fall. But more about that later. Congratulations, first […]

Priority or Option? What’s Your Relationship Rank?

Diana had been dating Axel for several months, but she still did not really feel very secure about where she stood in the relationship. Axel rarely answered texts, and never picked up the phone when Diana called. He’d text her, though, when he was ready to get together, often at the very last minute. And […]

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART 2 – How to improve Self-confidence

Last week I talked to you about self-esteem, a fundamental internal navigational system that, when it is working well, allows you to love and accept yourself (Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART I – How to Improve Self-esteem). Healthy self-esteem is often present in self-confident people, but not always. You can be confident in certain arenas – […]

Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence PART I – How to Improve Self-esteem

A dynamic, brilliant musician or actor exudes self-confidence on stage. A supremely gifted athlete seems innately imbued with confidence. And then we see one of these icons of self-assurance in the tabloids – in an abusive relationship or struggling with addiction. Does this seem paradoxical? Isn’t self-confidence the same thing as self-esteem… so how could […]

Jealousy – Don’t Get Bitten by the Green-eyed Monster

“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mockThe meat it feeds on.” – William Shakespeare, Othello Jacob travels a lot for work. Jacob can’t bear thinking about his wife, Darlene, sitting in a restaurant alone while he’s away, or even taking her car to their local garage. Why? He’s jealous. […]

Dating a braggart?

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize the clues found in the actions and words of a braggart. Are you dating one? Or have you? You know… that interesting person you met and thought was going to be great? But despite having some qualities you look for in a partner, like independence, good looks, manners, […]