November 21, 2017

From Friend to Lover—A Great Path to Successful Romance

Rebecca knew when she first met Todd that she was attracted to him, but she tucked that away because he was unavailable. They worked together nights at a high-end restaurant in St. Augustine, FL, and became good friends. They could make each other laugh, and the banter helped slow nights go faster. They had long […]

Key Elements of Trust

Some people are more trusting than others. Some are more trustworthy. But once trust is broken, it is not easy to rebuild (though not impossible in many cases). There is more than one way to breach trust.  ° Lara was never sure when Paul would be kind and supportive or when he’d berate her cruelly for […]

Vulnerability and Authenticity—Partners in Your Inner Life

Max seemed so perfect. When he would first meet a woman, he gave the impression of a truly accomplished, confident man. He had a “perfect life” – great job, nice car and house. He played a perfect golf game and he was good looking and in excellent shape. Why couldn’t he hold onto a relationship […]

Toxic Relationships – What Are They and What Can Be Done?

David had been with Suzanne for so long that he forgot what it felt like to just feel good, or even okay, on a daily basis. He was in a toxic relationship but did not realize it. It was affecting his mental and emotional well-being. But he loved Suzanne – how could she be toxic? […]

Emotional Intimacy – Part One of a Great Relationship

The key to any successful relationship is genuine attachment.  Obviously you have a different relationship with a housemate or friend than you do with your lover.  No matter how close a friend a housemate is, the attachment of a lover is bound to be deeper.  It is based on full understanding which leads to a […]

Take a Deep Breath: How to Detect and Cope with Lies

Lying is believing or knowing one thing while intending to communicate another.  As painful as it is to be lied to, a certain amount of empathy is important when dealing with liars who typically are acting out of fear or low self-esteem. Often, fear and low self-image are also responsible for the very actions about […]

Honestly? Telling Lies Hurts (Everybody)

People lie constantly.  Especially if you include in your tally the most common lie of all:  “I’m fine.”  As much of a social lubricant as this lie is, it represents an essential fact.  People don’t want to reveal… too much. We learn to lie in childhood.  Saying “sorry” when we are not, saying what others […]

The Value of Interdependent Relationships

Dependence.  Independence.  Co-dependence  Interdependence.  These are not buzz words – they are terms that clearly delineate ways of interacting with others. Dependence – A newborn baby is dependent.  All the power lies with its parents.  Dependence is a vulnerable, trusting state.  As adults, we can be, at times, dependent on others, but it is never […]

Thanks, but No Thanks: A Vital Life Skill

Some people find it easy to say no.  You know those people?  Maybe you are one of those people.  But if you are one of the millions of others – those who struggle mightily with that simple word – you may be both envious and awestruck by those who can just say no.  For so […]

Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard

We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need.  A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly.  If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast.  Feedback loop complete.  Easy, right? Well, yes, […]