June 24, 2018

How to Ditch Emotional Baggage Once and For All Part II

If you know, or suspect, that emotional baggage is weighing you down and keeping you from living fully, but somehow that suitcase full of nasty stuff keeps surfacing in your life, today’s blog will give you some guidelines about how to release it. For a recap of what emotional baggage is and how it goes […]

How to Ditch Emotional Baggage Once and For All Part I

If there were a lot of ugly, heavy stuff in a giant suitcase and it was useless to you in every way, would you schlep that suitcase everywhere you went? In the shower, to bed, through the mall, on your after-dinner walk? The answer: no. Not only would doing so be counter to your best […]

Why Emotional Security is #1 in a Relationship

My client Virginia originally called me to help her navigate a difficult relationship. She loved Pat so much it was painful. The problem was, it actually was painful. She never knew when he was going to pull the rug out from under her. One day he was understanding and supportive, telling her how much he […]

Being in the Flow Part I

In Siddhartha, his novel about the Buddha, Herman Hesse wrote, “The river is everywhere.” It makes sense that it was beside a river that the Buddha achieved enlightenment. If the river is the flow of life, all the things we clutter up the banks of the river with serve only to keep us from that […]

What You Saw is Not What I Did – How Perception Can Mess with a Relationship Part II

Last week we started to look at perception and what it means, the fact that it is not too reliable, and that emotions, memories, fears, and expectations are like filters that alter our perceptions. (What you saw is not what I did part I) What do these truths about perceptions mean to a relationship? Well, […]

What You Saw is Not What I Did – How Perception Can Mess with a Relationship, Part I

Susan had been married to Dave for 20 years. Early on, Susan struggled in the relationship because Dave was emotionally distant. Though he was a kind man, he had a hard time being there for Susan when things got rough. The emotional turbulence was way too much for him (for reasons we won’t go into […]

Sex: What Time is the Right Time?

Sex. It’s awesome. They say it’s on our minds a LOT. In one way or another, whoever you are… you think about sex. And it’s only reasonable that when you are dating someone, or thinking about dating someone, you would be doing some extra wondering about sex. Mainly—when is the right time to “go all […]

Physical Intimacy – Part 2 of a Great Relationship

Intimacy is one of those concepts that has almost as many definitions as there are people to have opinions about it. Some people think “feelings” when they think about intimacy, and they find it easy to achieve emotional intimacy with others. They are not afraid of feeling vulnerable or else they enjoy the rewards of […]

Emotional Intimacy – Part One of a Great Relationship

The key to any successful relationship is genuine attachment.  Obviously you have a different relationship with a housemate or friend than you do with your lover.  No matter how close a friend a housemate is, the attachment of a lover is bound to be deeper.  It is based on full understanding which leads to a […]