September 23, 2017

Shifting out of Loneliness: The Nuance of Solitude (Part II)

Human beings are social creatures. Our need to belong is not just a factor of our socialization—it’s encoded in our DNA! As the 17th century poet John Donne wrote so profoundly: “No man is an island / entire of itself.” All of us fall on a continuum of how social we are, depending on how […]

What’s So Great about a Great Relationship?

Don’t we all want a great relationship? The partnership so “meant to be” that you can almost hear the “click.” The “she gets me, I get her” kind of relationship. The one with trust and comfort and loyalty, warm fuzzy feelings, mutual cheer-leading, sickness-and-health, devotion, presence—all of it. Maybe you have that now, or had […]

Honestly? Telling Lies Hurts (Everybody)

People lie constantly.  Especially if you include in your tally the most common lie of all:  “I’m fine.”  As much of a social lubricant as this lie is, it represents an essential fact.  People don’t want to reveal… too much. We learn to lie in childhood.  Saying “sorry” when we are not, saying what others […]

Forgiveness—Divine Release

“To err is human; to forgive, divine.”  A quotation probably more famous than the man who first said it, English poet Alexander Pope.  You may well have not heard of him, but you have probably heard his words. Screwing up (to err, in other words) is human indeed.  We are all flawed human beings.  In […]

Thanks, but No Thanks: A Vital Life Skill

Some people find it easy to say no.  You know those people?  Maybe you are one of those people.  But if you are one of the millions of others – those who struggle mightily with that simple word – you may be both envious and awestruck by those who can just say no.  For so […]

Asking for What You Need – Why You Should and Why It’s Hard

We are born fully programmed to ask for, and receive, what we need.  A baby just minutes old will turn its head expectantly, assuming its biological need for sustenance will be met promptly.  If it isn’t, the baby cries, and mama puts the little wiggleworm to her breast.  Feedback loop complete.  Easy, right? Well, yes, […]

Are You Dating a Selfish Person?

Feeling a little invisible in your relationship?  Wondering why your date’s version of give and take has a lot more take than give (which leaves you making up the difference)?  Maybe you need to assess how you show up in your relationship, and whether you are looking out for yourself enough.  On the other hand, […]

First Impressions

Have you ever read the first page of a book in a bookstore (if you still buy books that way, that is!) and decided not to buy it?  It might have been a really great book, but you didn’t want to take the chance and spend the time to read 50 pages.  It takes at […]

Live together or Marry? 21st Century Options

A mere 50 years ago (which isn’t that long, really) everything was very different.  There was still a huge stigma on couples who chose to live together “out of wedlock” as it was called, and parents whose children did so white-knuckled the social embarrassment until they could finally send out those wedding announcements.  Aside from […]

Can long distance relationships last?

Long-distance relationships have been around for a long time.  At one time in history separation by ten miles would constitute a long-distance relationship and contact would be done via handwritten letters.  Much of the courtship between poets Elizabeth Barrett Browning and Robert Browning was conducted via love letters, which are wonderful to read!  They fell […]